i don't remember ever being as confused about myself as i am right now. for months i was filled with naive optimism-that has vanished. i have learned not to trust any new boy and that they all have one intention despite how sincere they may appear. i have learned that i am both weaker and stonger than i had expected. i know that i will always love my first love-not sure what the future will bring. it has been a little over 2 months now-i dont know if we will ever get back together, but i know we need this time apart. we are going to see each other this weekend or next. i think we are just meeting for a meal. it will be so strange. I have been trying so hard to be his friend. he has been making it much easier. i have heard that he had met another girl-from the tone in his voice when he talks to me it is hard to tell if that is true.
i feel so vulnerable right now
hopefully my naive optimism will return. i miss it greatly