MySpace post 12/21/08

It was MySpace so I wasn't saying much. I have decided that I want to delete it now though.......


Anticipation and Hesitation
Sundays are no fun-my friends are right. I do like lounging around,but too much time alone and I start to go crazy. This has been a very strange month. Lots of changes to adjust to. Some good/some bad. Just rolling with the punches. I'm always in a mixed state of excitement and disappointment. Disappointed at some things that have passed and excited for what may come. I know more now than ever that willing something to be does not make it so.
It is almost a new year. I'm not one for symbolism, but I may make use of this one. Last year at this time, I had expected to be somewhere else completely by now. Not knowing the future keeps things interesting, but some warnings would be nice. I guess they are there and I turn a blind eye when I don't want to believe them. I actually never know what I want and never have. My indecision and lack of conviction will be my downfall if I let it. I need to determine what I want and seek it out and not wait for it to find me.



"Keep the wind at your back and the sun on your faceAll the immediate unknownsAre better than knowing this tired and lonely fate"



E's comment:
this is deep..it speaks. I would rather shave off both my eyebrows and have a peg leg than face another sunday again. But the world continues to turn, and we will continue to survive. How about this Sunday we lounge..together. eating toffee and chips in my cave. and maybe topping it off with some french fries. i don't know about you but that sounds like a better sunday than me scrubbing the kitchen floor in tears..haha. I am so happy to have you in my life and this tired and lonely fate will soon fade into another year full of possibility. I am sure of it. <3