I don't usually believe horiscopes,but this is freaky-it is EXACTLY what i have been thinking

Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
You must focus on the routines of the day, although you'll be sorely tempted to jump onto the next distracting thought that runs across your mind. You are itching to escape from what is right in front of you, not that you don't like what you already have. It's just that the call of the wild is so enticing. Stay where you are for now and postpone your next adventure for a while.




---so i guess i should listen to it

if you don't know me by now-you will never ever ever know me

crazy music makes me feel sane-when it stops i can't breath
my stomach aches when i am alone

i've got a bad feeling about this

i need to break free of the monotony
i need to break free
my best friend and worst enemy-him or me-both fill each position full-time
close your eyes and just settle
i've got a bad feeling about this(TBS is making me sane right now)

i dont think i am ever capable of having a true best friend
i dont think i could ever like anyone enough after fully figuring them out and that makes me nervous
there has to be someone out there that is a completely wonderful person-i think there is,but i am so horrible that i cant see the good in others
everyone i know has flaws and i hate that-i do too, but i dont expect much of myself
i love my friends and then something clicks every time and i focus on their flaws for a while-i get over them-but for a while i hate them-i hate being this person
i got a haircut last night-i think i was hoping that it would be so differant that it would change me completely-not so much
people tell me that i am the best drunk ever-that is because it is not me-sometimes it feels that it is more me than the sober me-people even have a name for my drunk alter-ego
im glad i dont have an addictive personality
it has never come easily with us-always a challenge even when its not
someone pick me up
carry me
a life coach would sure come in handy
whenever i hate myself the most i stare into the mirror-i think that i am looking for her to respond and tell me how to fix me
i only question everything when we are apart-but that is the most common status
some days it is perfect
i love the perfect days more than fixing the bad ones
there is no possible way you could love me the way you claim to
your (in)actions prove otherwise-i used to think that you were the only one that could love me
i know that is not true-i just think you may be the only one that could love me for this long
maybe time is running out and you figure you could have better
you make it hard to love you
why do i even bother questioning anything- i know we will be together years from now
music=sanity
so i listen to it at all possible moments

great expectations, but no aspiration

words and i have never gotten along-they make me nervous-well i make me nervous
i want to be something that i am not capable of
content
but the only way that i believe i can get there is to do the impossible
i want to move to la
i want to be in music
not a musician-but behind the scenes
i love the culture of indie music and would love to wrap myself in it
i have no experience and am shy at times
i have no chance
i am afraid of failing and so i never try to accomplish anything that challenges me
i can't leave him either
i know if it were the other way around he would leave me
so why do i stay
i want to stay at my job for a least another year or so
but then what
we fight a lot
there was about a year and a half when i didn't have to wonder about us
he was so reassuring
and then he changed it all-he doubted us and quickly tried to pick up the pieces
i don't think that i have ever recovered
his doubts turned into mine
talk of marriage and children feel like distant ideas for me, but near future reality for him
i used to think i would marry young
we have been together forever-it has just always seemed like the natural progression-why not now?
these last six months after college have been great, but have really made me doubt myself and my future
i am afraid to settle
and i know i will